Sunday Reflection Quote…It’s been a spell, but not for lack of reflection. The last month+ has been a struggle marinating in survival mode. Sitting with mediocrity is not how I roll and is it a bitter pill to swallow. Trying to balance teaching in a pandemic (still!!) and ALL it entails, coaching golf for the first time, grinding my own game, looking for a new place, walking the bureaucratic/political lines, and noticing bright spots has been difficult. Literally grinding days on end and trying to come up for air doesn’t sit well with me. I’m reminded (again) I can only do the best I can with the time I have. That’s good enough AND I’m good enough. Here’s to savoring joy points, embracing baby steps, and continuing to strive. Thank you @mns_accountant for your unwavering support and love. I couldn’t do it without you. ❤️
Sunday Reflection Quote…Showing up presents itself in many ways and each time there is an affirmation of direction or connection. It doesn’t have to be grandiose, but simply the willingness opens the door to change.
Over the last several weeks my showing up has included reconnecting with friends and colleagues, joining a golf association and league, pouring my teaching career and perspectives out on in multiple essays applying for CA TOTY, trying yoga, registering for golf scrambles, doing some stacky stack in poker, and speaking up.
Showing up certainly isn’t easy and there’s big bubbles of anxiety. I’m reminded showing up for myself helps me do the same for others and helps to gain perspective. This might not be capital B brave, but stretch experiences are the key to personal growth. I’m not the same person I was six years ago and I’m very proud of all the hard work and progress I’ve made. Here’s to having the courage to put myself in the arena, letting go when needed, and continuing to walk with willingness!
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Sunday Reflection Quote (Yes, on Tuesday cuz reasons). This is a long one, for me. For me to remember, learn, and grow…
Back in April I registered for the Inaugural Sacramento Valley Women’s Championship as a competitive goal to kick off summer break. I didn’t realize the tournament had an index cap of 9.4, nor did I realize it was a tourney drawing the top women amateurs in the region. I just wanted a golf tournament on my calendar lol.
At the time of registration, my index was a 10.5, so I reached out to the tournament director to share my mistake and to see if I could get a refund. He had the BEST response…Why don’t we wait until June 1st to see if you can get it down in two months? If not, full refund no problem. That lit a fire in me. I worked really hard practicing and playing more difficult courses/tees to see if I could do it. I was able to grind my index down to a 9.0. I had the green light!
Last Wednesday, I played my practice round at Haggin and had a quick wake up call regarding the difficulty of an incredibly long course (combo tips/blue/white) coupled with impeccable lightning fast greens. Due to the length, I knew I wouldn’t be able to get on in regulation (already an area to improve), so I adjusted my game plan with a goal to at least break 90 each day.
Day 1: Last group to tee off at 1:30 and toasty hot. Massive butterflies and deep breaths. Solid drive down the first fairway, solid shots in and lip out par putt=bogey. I was off to a good start until hole 4 when my second shot was a baby fade and barely trickled into the water. Drop=water. Drop and club up=water. Drop and lay up left=safe. Penciled a blasted 10 on a par 5. I was 8 over in the first 4 holes=toast. Reset and bogey hole 6 yada yada 51 on the front. On in reg hole 10 and had a 5 putt; yes five. Triple=absolute nightmare. Reset. Next hole=par. Bogey-Bogey-Par-Triple-Triple-Bogey. Closed the back with a 49 and 100. Shot a century and dead LAST in a field of 50 players. Disbelief, disappointment, shame, and lots of tears on the drive home.
Day 2: New day and new-ish mindset. First group off at 7am, so dew sweepers=course even longer. Good drive 1st hole and bogey. Hole 3…par 3 tee shot draw and had a down hill fried egg in the bunker. Blasted it out, but over the green and into the bushes. Had to take an unplayable with horrible options for a drop and no back swing. Punch, chip, and 3 putt. An 8 on a par 3; now 8 over in first 3 holes=burnt toast. Headed to hole 4, the one I had a 10 on the day before. Good grief. Reset and hit the sh*t out of my drive and parred that sucker!! 💪 Bogey-Bogey-Bogey-Triple (hazard)-Double for a 52. Even worse than the day before with a 101. Dead last spot secured. Seriously? I mean seriously. The tears couldn’t wait and tumbled out on the way to the car.
It’s taking me a bit to work through the waves of emotions—disappointment, defeat, disbelief, shame, and failure. I’m turning the corner realizing my hard work to be able to compete in such a competitive field was a triumph. To reset after insane blow up holes and persevere was a success. To put myself in the arena and have stretch goals is not failure. This experience will make me a better golfer and an even better coach. I know what I need to work on. Never give up, never surrender!
Thank you Memphis for supporting my goals and understanding the late nights practicing/playing to prepare. You being there when I was on the first tee Day 1 and when I came in on 18 on Day 2 meant the world to me. Thank you for the hugs, love, words, whiskey clinks, and Solley nachos. You’re wonderful! ❤️😘
I tried ⛳️💪
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Sunday Reflection Quote…When decisions are tough and I’m on the fence I’m reminded to consider the long view. Does it add value? Would the outcome bring happiness? In what way would I be stretched? What’s the impact on quality of life? Decisions, decisions. I’m reminded to pause the inner and outer chatter and listen to my heart; the heart knows. Here’s to pursuing goals that bring joy and make decisions a whole lot clearer.
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Sunday Reflection Quote…No matter the capacity, hard work is simply that—hard. If one is working on their career, personal goals, or self improvement on a physical/mental/emotional level, the grind can get stale. There’s the rub. If the mindset is “grind,” then the connotation may lead to a static path of negativity. If the mindset is to “strive,” then the path is dynamic and positive. Due to the pandemic, as a collective, we’ve passed the one year mark of working hard through challenge after challenge after challenge. Fatigue or impatience with oneself or others may be more pronounced. Nonetheless, now is the time to push through and persevere on a micro and macro level. I’m reminded I am a hard worker; hard wired to strive. Those efforts have been fruitful. I’m also reminded I have one life and I have the power to choose how I live it. Here’s to being kind to myself and pushing on with perseverance and striving!
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Sunday Reflection Quote…I didn’t know until I knew. There’s love and there’s a whole other level of unconditional love. The latter is selfless; yet, quietly powerful. To be unconditionally accepted through all the nuances of the good, bad, and ugly is a gift. When it is received, there’s an undercurrent of strength that slowly builds over time. That current harnesses a power, which releases courage. I’m reminded there’s nothing more beautiful and vulnerable than the willingness to share one’s life with another. Here’s to a life of strength AND courage as @mns_accountant as I begin our journey as husband and wife!
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Sunday Reflection Quote…The life line has pushes and pulls. There’s also moments of stagnation instigated by outside constraints or inside fears. I’m reminded life is for living and I choose the path. Here’s to putting fear on the shelf and leaving regrets in the rear view mirror.
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Sunday Reflection Quote (Yes, on a Monday)…Life’s journey is certainly unpredictable with all the ups and downs, twists and turns. Interestingly, the words warrior and fighter have been sprinkled across recent readings, movies, and conversations. At the same time, adjectives such as intimidating, confident, focused, stubborn, and determined have graced my ears. This has been couched in my past decisions and recent achievements. In reality, I would contend it is the patience I’ve had with myself to continually work hard, fail, learn, and grow. In reality, it’s the gift of time—weeks, months, and years shaping who I am today. The intentionality to be patient and give myself time to create a space to reset, to be happy, and to love has been the most powerful. I’m reminded to keep my chin up and to keep my eye on the prize. Here’s to savoring the sweetness of affirmation!
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