Poker can have some interesting or juicy comments, especially in cash games. Here’s a list of lines said either directly to me or overheard while playing poker…
- He quit the CIA to become a singer, but I don’t know why.
- I have two ex-wives and my girlfriend is a psychopath.
- Well, it’s not that fancy shit that’ll give hangovers. (Bud Light vs. Micro)
- You’re the prettiest girl I’ve seen (long pause), in the last 3 minutes. (really? ouch!)
- Like sheep ready for slaughter. (standing in line to register for tourney)
- He went and find it. (cell phone left at another table; why a player was gone from seat)
- Where’s the house doctor? My ear hurts. (older gent complaining about a woman who wouldn’t shut up)
- When I feel horny I get hot. (Lady about 70-ish to three 20-somethings playing at same table).
- You three give me damage! I want bruises! (same old lady; her VERY direct pick-up line)
- He’s Elvis
- Are you feeling lucky punk?
- Look up and say “wow” (I did) and guy said “thank you, I needed that.”
- Waitress: Can I get you anything? Player: Can I get a 6ft blonde? Waitress: You can, how much do you have?
- Player to the dealer: What are you doing rushing the players off? Your job is to deal, don’t worry about the players!! Dealer to the other player: Sir, did you want a hand?
- Nobody’s listening and nobody cares. How many times have you been told? Yet you still keep on anyway.
- Lettuce foul.
- That’s one too many elephant jokes. You’re cut off.
- Player: I marry her right now! (to dealer; river=winning hand); TD: In America, you need consent.
- I forgot what beer I’m having. Oh yeah, Sierra Nevada. That’s one of the best beers in the world right there!
- Yep, yep. I knew you were milking me. Have you ever been milked before?
- I ordered and extra large salami
- I’m a grower not a shower
- What’s the difference between a poker dealer and a toilet? A toilet only sees one asshole.
- Just the two of us in? No, there’s me too. I know, but you don’t count.
- Naked and Afraid…I get tired of see the dong swing.
This list is as of August 14, 2016. I’ll update periodically and repost.