Traditional Traditions

Three years later…
This will be the third year in a row traveling to Indio/Palm Springs for a week and playing golf on Thanksgiving Day with my parents. I’m thankful we’ve created a new tradition.

LaLa Palooza

When holiday season rears its head, it feels like an annoying splinter I can’t seem to wriggle free.  The actual holiday itself isn’t the issue, but rather my expectations or perception of how the time should be spent.

Since I am an only child, don’t have children, and come from a small family, the stressful cooking and shopping serpent doesn’t loom overhead.  I feel like I’m dust slowly gathering on the outside of a fishbowl—everyone else is frantically swimming around gift buying, dessert baking, and holiday decorating, but I’m stationary—on the outside, hoping to be wiped free.

All of those actions haven’t made it to my to-do list or calendar and I don’t foresee it happening in the near future.  Does that mean I somehow feel left out?  Yes and no.  In some respects, I’m relieved I don’t have the same stress or anxiety as others.  However, there’s a part…

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Sunday Quote, 10/01/17

Sunday Reflection Quote…A little more than a month ago I fell down another rabbit hole. After digging myself out, I’m grateful Perspective hit me between the eyes. Despite being wired as a seeker, I have so much to be thankful for and I have faith my time will come. I’m feeling more content than I have in a long time. What a relief!
#sunday #reflection #quote #tonygaskins #content #perspective #mindfulness #focus #simplicity #career #health #relationshipgoals #thankful #determination #patience #faith #myownstory #keeponkeepingon

Get Ready to Get Ready

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A habit of mind revealed itself during a moment of hectic frustration—when I was getting ready.  It seems like I am continuously in the mode of preparing for one thing or another either physically or mentally.  This could be in preparation for an event, meeting, or outing in order to establish my image; at least one that is a desired projection.  

I’ve realized that my behavior creates more work or unnecessary stress.  For example, I had an appointment to get my hair cut, so I went through all, and I mean ALL of the steps to arrange my hair just so.  I thoroughly shampooed, conditioned, blow dried, straightened, and styled all of the strands upon my head.  Moments later, all of that labor was completely demolished in the shampoo bowl at the salon as remnants of my scrupulous style swirled down the drain.

Why do I choose to put myself through such agony?  Perhaps it is a cautionary or preventative step to subliminally communicate to my stylist, “This is how my hair looks, so you best not waiver from it!”  I’ve had horrendous hair cuts in the past, which resulted in tears and return visits to the salon for correction.  Am I taking steps too far?  Does a stylist even care if their client’s hair is clean before they start to snip, snip?

The same holds true for my car, especially when taken in for service.  I make sure that it’s nice and clean inside and out—a message that I’m responsible and have expectations; don’t botch the job!  I didn’t bring in a junker, so don’t turn it in to one.  Again, this is based on previous negative experiences where one simple visit for service turned in to taking up residency in the waiting area as the new problems were diagnosed.  

Am I the only one that goes through such laborious pains to get ready?  I do the same for the dentist, doctor, nail technician, and hotel room attendant.  What is this all really about?  Am I trying to save face, is it misdirected protection of some kind of expectations, or some mumbo-jumbo mind game I’ve concocted?  Part of me doesn’t want to create more work; it’s like I want to make their job easier, even though I’m paying for the service. 

How I’m perceived by others has become a quiet undercurrent for intentional behavior.  In the end, does anyone even notice, let alone care?  Seems like I’m always getting ready to get ready.  What a waste of time!  Time to continue working on letting the insecurity go and display confidence in myself.  I am good enough. I am worthy, just as I am.

~D. Thompson        

Rolling By

Rolling By 2 WP

The circle of life rolled by while I sat near the entrance waiting for our takeout order.  Miniature white sneakers with velcro straps randomly bobbed to and fro.  A blue sweatshirt hosted Tigger bouncing on the side.  The slightly stressed mother quickly returned wallet to purse, balanced a bulky diaper bag on her petite shoulder, and pushed the stroller all at the same time.  The cute toddler was in his own world living it up—smile on his face and song upon his lips.

Right after, a similar image with added wrinkles.  Crisp, white New Balance sneakers boasting velcro straps contained stationary feet and swollen ankles.  A blue knitted sweater with an embroidered crest and half glasses perched atop the end of a seasoned nose momentarily captured the essence of the elderly man.  While pushing the wheelchair from behind, the twenty-something grandson leaned down to say thanks for the meal.  A partial smile and wink was extended from a craned neck as the elderly man labored to tuck his wallet into his back pocket.Read More »